Joshua had agreed to wait for his dad to come and help him prepare to go into Thea’s mind, but after he got everything ready, he didn’t wait. He had no way of knowing how long Thea’s mind could tolerate being trapped with no way out, so he began the process of shutting down his body. He entered a state of deep meditation, and as he did, his heart rate and bodily functions slowed down to hibernation mode. He couldn’t maintain this mode of shutdown forever, and he understood why his dad was worried.
When he was younger, he had gone into shutdown and left his body behind for two days. At one point, Josh had unwittingly broken the link between his body and spirit, and he had died. He’d been under for several minutes, with his dad frantically doing everything he could to save his son. Even though Josh had later explained what had happened to his father, Andrew Bronson had insisted that if Josh ever decided to go jaunting about without his body again, that he wait for his dad to be present.
He’d gone in search of his mother, and when he found her, he had tried for two days to heal her brain and bring her back. She’d tried to commit suicide, but had only succeeded in putting herself in a persistent vegetative state. He’d managed to make contact with the part of her mind that was still aware and functioning, but she’d been in a coma for years by that point. She had been alone and cut off from the outside world with nothing but her own guilt for company.
Andy had come home to find his young son in a coma, and had immediately called an ambulance and had him admitted to the hospital where he worked as a doctor. Josh had been unresponsive to the outside world for two days, but had remained stable. Then he had smiled, taken a deep breath, and his heart had stopped. Andy was in the room when it happened, and he had immediately begun CPR. They fought to bring Josh back for thirty minutes. Just as the other doctors in the room had given up, his heart had started pumping again, he’d begun breathing on his own, and within a few seconds, he was awake and alert, looking around at all the people in the room and asking for food.
Josh would never forget how defeated he’d felt when he returned to his body. He’d tried unsuccessfully to get his mother to fight, to come back to him, and live, but she’d given in to the guilt she felt for giving him up to the Mod program, no amount of coaxing could convince her that the little boy she’d given to Monsters could forgive her.
She’d believed him dead, because they had told her he didn’t survive the program. Josh could access a few of her memories, and he could see her holding a dead infant, believing that she was holding her son.
Josh tried to convince her that he had survived, that he wasn't the infant she'd held. For a while, it seemed like she believed him, but then she became convinced that her dead son had somehow come to visit her in her prison and he was punishing her for what she had done. She had rejected him, been terrified of him in fact, and he had finally stopped trying to pull her out of the abyss.
Even at age ten, he knew that the merciful thing was to help her let go of her body and go on to whatever afterlife existed.
He waited, projected himself a man, and went back one last time. She saw him as the man he’d imagined himself, and wasn’t afraid. He led her to a door, telling her that she was free, that she had paid the penance for what she had done, and she was now allowed to go on to the other side.
She cried and hugged him, asked him if Josh was waiting on the other side and Joshua had lied and said he was. He told her that all of the victims of the Company were waiting for her, that they needed someone to take care of them, and since she knew about their special needs and abilities, she would be the perfect surrogate until they moved on to what came next.
She changed then. Given a mission to take care of the helpless victims of the Company, she found the strength to open the door and pass from this life into the next.
Joshua caught a glimpse of the light and love on the other side. He had just stepped through the doorway to join his mother, when a man, much like the one Josh had projected to his mom, came took his hand. The man had taken Josh into another bright room, one with a pool of water in the center of it.
They walked to the pool, and Josh could see his dad, standing over his body, trying to revive him. His dad was crying, doing CPR, yelling for somebody to bring a fucking crash cart. The man placed a hand on Joshua’s shoulder.
“You still have work, son. You have to go back, but not just for your dad.”
The picture changed, and he saw Thea. She was having a slumber party with three friends. They seemed to be playing some kind of game. Thea would close her eyes, and all three friends would start writing furiously in notebooks. When she would open her eyes, they would compare papers. All three had written the exact same thing on their papers.
They laughed hysterically, and the next girl closed her eyes, beginning the process again. After they opened their eyes and compared, only Thea had written exactly what the other girl had sent. The other two could get pieces of the thought, images that were part of what the sender had tried to communicate, but Thea was by far the best at it.
“Are they all like me then?”
“Yes, but only Thea is as strong as you. The others will have a part later, but you must watch for Thea, and when she comes to you, tell her the truth about where she came from. You must protect her, Josh, because when the company realizes how strong she is, that they can’t control her, they will try to kill her, as they will you, if they find out you survived. You must help her conceal her true power, her strength, until the time is right. You have knowledge about your origins that she doesn’t yet have. A couple who do only what Michael Critchlow and the Company tell them has fostered her. She knows nothing of the Program, and has no idea what lies in store for her in Hopeton. You must wait for her and help her stay alive. Do you understand?”
“No, but I’m guessing I will when the time is right, right?”
The man laughed then, and patted Josh on the shoulder.
“Very good, Joshua. Now, let’s get you back where you belong. I know you won’t disappoint us.”
Josh had thought of a million questions to ask the man, but had known he probably wouldn’t get the answers he wanted. The man had patted him on the shoulder one last time, and Joshua had woken up in the hospital.
Friday, July 07, 2006
Friday, June 30, 2006
Thea Scene 10
Thea was trapped, somewhere between life and death. Her mind could only see gray, she could feel nothing. She tried to reach out with her mind to her body, to her surroundings, to another person, but the part of her that might have once known how to do that was dead.
She felt small and alone, deaf, mute, and blind, trapped in some sort of purgatory with no way out. She prayed for death, but it wasn’t to be. At some point, Thea’s awareness of her state diminished, and she felt that she was in a small, gray room, curled up in the fetal position, waiting for nothing.
***
“Dad, I’ve fucked everything up. Thea’s in a coma, and I’ve got to go in and try to get her out.” Josh talked fast on the phone, filling his dad in as quickly as possible about what had happened in the doctor’s office.
“Wait until I get there, Josh. You know it isn’t safe for you without someone close by to monitor you.” Josh knew his dad was right, but that would mean that Thea would stay trapped alone for at least another hour. He knew far too well what it felt like to be in that strange limbo of coma, and he also knew that she could easily go insane and be lost forever if he didn’t get in there and find her.
“It’s already been an hour, Dad. If I wait much longer, she could be lost forever. I can’t lose her again. I have to go.”
“Give me thirty minutes. I won’t lose you again, either.”
***
Michael Critchlow was heading to Hopeton on his private jet to do damage control. He hated these kinds of calls, but there was nothing to be done for it. A nurse had apparently lost her mind and tried to kill one of the mods. She had been taken care of, but the mod’s caregivers needed to be briefed, and Michael wanted to see if the unit might be saved.
The fact that she was still alive was a good sign. [drug name] usually killed the mods within minutes. He had been working with some of the scientists on brain regeneration, and this might be a perfect chance to experiment on a human, well mostly human, subject. Even if the unit had to be scrapped completely, she might be of some use before he was finished.
***
She felt small and alone, deaf, mute, and blind, trapped in some sort of purgatory with no way out. She prayed for death, but it wasn’t to be. At some point, Thea’s awareness of her state diminished, and she felt that she was in a small, gray room, curled up in the fetal position, waiting for nothing.
***
“Dad, I’ve fucked everything up. Thea’s in a coma, and I’ve got to go in and try to get her out.” Josh talked fast on the phone, filling his dad in as quickly as possible about what had happened in the doctor’s office.
“Wait until I get there, Josh. You know it isn’t safe for you without someone close by to monitor you.” Josh knew his dad was right, but that would mean that Thea would stay trapped alone for at least another hour. He knew far too well what it felt like to be in that strange limbo of coma, and he also knew that she could easily go insane and be lost forever if he didn’t get in there and find her.
“It’s already been an hour, Dad. If I wait much longer, she could be lost forever. I can’t lose her again. I have to go.”
“Give me thirty minutes. I won’t lose you again, either.”
***
Michael Critchlow was heading to Hopeton on his private jet to do damage control. He hated these kinds of calls, but there was nothing to be done for it. A nurse had apparently lost her mind and tried to kill one of the mods. She had been taken care of, but the mod’s caregivers needed to be briefed, and Michael wanted to see if the unit might be saved.
The fact that she was still alive was a good sign. [drug name] usually killed the mods within minutes. He had been working with some of the scientists on brain regeneration, and this might be a perfect chance to experiment on a human, well mostly human, subject. Even if the unit had to be scrapped completely, she might be of some use before he was finished.
***
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Scene 9
When Thea went to school the next Monday, she felt better about her situation in some ways, and in others, she felt worse. It was good to know that her mom, at least, was on her side, but the fact that she was unable to help Thea made her wonder more than ever what the hell was going on.
Even Josh seemed to have more of an idea what was happening that she did, and this made things worse. The weekend had been strangely silent in the house, with Thea’s mom giving her looks and winks, but not speaking to her except to tell her when dinner was ready. Thea was glad to know that she had her mom’s moral support, so when Monday rolled around, and things were just as bad as ever, Thea was able to carry on in spite of it.
She survived Mrs. Baumgarten, somehow managing to stay under the radar, for the most part. That week was a difficult one academically, and several students couldn’t manage the lessons, so Mrs. B. spent most of her time ridiculing them instead of Thea.
Sara and her friends were still making their comments, and generally being pains in the ass, but Thea was starting to get used to it and it didn’t hurt quite as much.
She was amazed that she could survive it without friends around, but there were a couple of students who had been nice, and told her that they couldn’t stand Sara, to hang in there, and that it couldn’t last forever.
Thea managed to survive and even thrive in her environment, much to her own surprise. She had always excelled in school, so most of her teachers were nice to her.
Things were falling into a routine, and Thea was thankful for it. She wasn’t able to meet Josh at his house [when was it?] on that day, her mom came and picked her up from school for a doctor’s appointment Thea had known nothing about.
“What’s the deal, Mom? Why didn’t you tell me about this before?”
“I didn’t know about it until today. The people at your dad’s work are doing checkups for everybody, including the kids. Today was the only day they could do it, so we have to go. Why? Did you have plans?”
“No, I was just wondering. Dad’s work never did checkups like this before, though, did they?”
“Yes, actually, we’ve always done your checkups with one of the Company’s doctors.” This was news to Thea. She’d never realized that Dr. Bennett had worked for the Company. He worked out of his own office, and no one had ever mentioned it before. Thea remembered that Josh’s dad was a doctor, and wondered if he might be the one doing the exams.
When they got there, Thea’s dad was outside waiting for them. He kissed her mom, and ruffled Thea’s hair, which was something she didn’t remember him ever doing before. Thea had a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach, and suddenly wanted desperately to get out of there.
Her dad placed an arm around her and guided her into the building. They went into a foyer and Thea saw a smiling woman at a reception desk. They walked down a short hallway toward the woman, and as they walked through the open doorway, there was a quiet beep, and the woman looked up and greeted them.
“You must be Thea. Dan has told us so much about you. Take theses papers Mrs. Watson and fill them out. Dan, you know where Thea needs to go, so why don’t you show her, and I’ll give you your forms when you get back, okay?” Thea’s mom hesitated.
“Why can’t I go back with her? We’ve always been with her for checkups before.”
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Watson, but there is a lot of paper work to fill out this time. I think it would be better for every one if you sat down and started on it now. Is that going to be a problem, Mrs. Watson, or do you understand now?” Thea watched as her mom’s eyes registered fear, understanding, and then resignation. She turned and hugged Thea hard, and said, “I’ll be right here when you get back sweetheart. You just stay calm, and I’ll be waiting for you. Ok?”
Thea nodded and followed her father down a long, brightly lit corridor. She tried to ask her dad what was going on, but he just shook his head and refused to speak. When they reached the end of the hallway, they turned right and headed down another hallway. When they reached the third door, Thea’s dad stopped, opened the door, and ushered her in.
The smell of disinfectant assaulted her nose the moment she entered the room, and vague memories tickled the back of her mind. Needles and bars in a white room flashed, and then it was gone, but the cold sweat and half-remembered fear remained.
Thea turned to her dad and was shocked to see that he was gone. She started to leave to go find him, but a disembodied voice stopped her.
“Welcome, Dorothea. Please, go to the table, remove your clothes, and put on the gown you see at the foot of the table. I’ll be in when you’ve finished, just push the call button, okay?”
Thea entered the room and looked around. It looked like any other doctor’s office, but Thea had the distinct feeling she was being watched. She looked for a camera or two-way mirror, but there wasn’t a mirror, and if there was a camera, it invisible. She took a deep breath and started changing her clothes. She pulled the sheet over her and pulled her shirt off, being careful not to reveal any skin to whatever eyes could see. She had mastered changing clothes in public during camp the past four years. They were always changing clothes on busses, and it was a contest to see who could do it the fastest without dropping their cover. Thea had always won, so in a matter of a few seconds, she had changed clothes, covered herself with a sheet, and pressing the call button, which someone had safety pinned to the vinyl covering.
The doctor came in and smiled at her.
“Hello, Thea, I’m Doctor Morgan. It’s so nice to meet you. I hope it isn’t too cold in here for you?” She paused, but Thea couldn’t answer. Something about this doctor was familiar, and Thea was terrified. The doctor must have seen something in Thea’s face, because she froze for a second, and pressed a button on the wall.
“Now you just sit here and relax, Thea, I’ll go get Dr. Borne and his nurse, and they will finish your exam.” Dr. Morgan left, and Thea heard a click. She went and checked the door. Locked. Thea had never liked being closed up in a room alone, and she began feeling as though she couldn’t breathe. Her heart rate went up, and her peripheral vision blacked out. She started seeing spots, and realized that she’d forgotten to breathe. She took several deep breaths, and tried to calm down. She kept hearing her mom and Josh saying “Stay calm, Stay calm.” She took more deep breaths, and concentrated on relaxing. After she started calming down, the lights flickered and went out. There wasn’t a window in the room, and it was pitch black with only a small ribbon of light from the hallway.
Thea saw the light from the hallway, and knew that for some reason, these people were trying to freak her out. Somehow knowing made her calmer instead of scaring her, although she wasn’t sure how that was possible, but she continued to calm down, and felt peaceful.
She closed her eyes and imagined that Josh was with her. She could see his eyes in her mind, and that mischievous grin, and she could swear she saw his lips move and heard his voice whisper in her head, “Good Job, show the bastards they can’t control you!”
She laughed out loud, and felt confidence come from nowhere and envelop her.
The lights flickered on again, and in walked a man and woman, whom she assumed was Dr. Borne and his nurse. Her nametag said ‘Suzie’ and Thea thought she looked more like a Helga the Horrible than a Suzie.
Dr. Borne had a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, and Thea felt a chill as he reached his hand out to shake hers.
“I’m Dr. Borne, Thea, how often do you make the lights flicker at home?”
“What are you talking about? I’ve never made anything flicker.”
“No? Then why are you here?”
“Because they told me every one in the Company is having checkups, including the kids. And what’s the deal with you people, anyway? You lock me in here, turn the lights off, hoping I’ll freak out or something, and then when I don’t, you accuse me of making the lights go out, what, with telekinesis? Do you think I’m a complete moron? Get a new shtick Doc. I’ve got no time for this bullshit!” Thea couldn’t believe she’d just said that, and she could have sworn she heard a whispered laugh in the back of her brain. She looked at the doctor’s blank expression and laughed out loud. That seemed to break him out of his shocked state, and he pursed his lips in annoyance. Then he pasted another fake smile on, and began the physical. He felt her neck and armpits, listened to her heart and lungs, and did all the other normal stuff, then he cleared his throat and walked out.
‘Suzie’ stayed behind and said, “Follow me.” Thea wrapped the sheet around her waist, and started to grab her clothes, “Leave them.” Jeez, she even sounded like Helga the Horrible. She led Thea down several more hallways, and stopped at a door labeled ‘laboratory’. Thea knew that meant blood work, which wasn’t’ her favorite thing since it involved needles, but she figured it must be close to being over. She felt like she’d passed [or failed] some sosrt of test, and was finally moving on to the next phase. Her nerves were still strangely calm, and although she didn’t know how, she was grateful.
Suzie pointed her to another table, and she sat down, waiting to see what would happen next. When Suzie opened a drawer and took out vials for blood, and a butterfly needle to stick her with, she felt a little nauseous. Suzie looked at her and grinned.
“Not scared of a little needle, are we?” She smirked, and Thea felt the blood leave her head. She took a few deep breaths and closed her eyes. She saw Josh in her mind’s eye, nodding encouragement, and she drew strength from him somehow.
“Not at all. Just don’t miss.” Thea imagined kicking the smirk off Suzie’s face, and smiled. Suzie gave her a strange look, and got down to business. She wrapped the tourniquet around her arm, poked around with her finger forever, trying to find a vein, and finally stuck the needle in Thea’s arm. She didn’t miss the vein, and Thea was relieved, but a little disappointed. She was half looking forward to kicking somebody.
Suzie took three vials of blood, then took out a syringe filled with a clear liquid, and attached it to the needle in Thea’s arm. Before Thea could say anything, she had pushed the med into her vein, and removed the needle.
“What was that?”
“Something to help you relax. And to help change your attitude.” Suzie got right up in Thea’s face, and Thea could smell her putrid breath. “I guess that will teach you, won’t it? Little bitch.”
Thea’s eyes began to close against her will, and she fought to regain consciousness. She tried to get up from the table, but fell face first onto the floor. Harsh laughter rang as if through a tunnel, as Thea struggled against the medicine’s effects. Her body was sluggish, and seemed to weigh a thousand pounds, then she felt her bladder let go, and warm wetness spread between her legs. Josh! Help me!! Her mind screamed out for the only friend she had. She felt like she was falling, and then she felt herself being dragged by her hair into the next room, and flung upon a gurney. Her eyes were still open, but she was completely paralyzed. She saw Suzie again, sneering as she grabbed Thea’s hair and lifted her head, showing her her own body, now naked on the table.
“You see that? Dozens of people are coming in here to watch the procedure, and here you are, naked as the day you were born, for all the world to see. That’s what you get for being disrespectful to Dr. Borne. No one talks to the good doctor that way and gets by with it. No one!”
Thea felt another needle enter her arm, an IV this time, she guessed since the pain stayed. Then she felt cold liquid enter her vein, and she hoped it would knock her unconscious.
“Oh, don’t worry, you’re going to be wide awake for a while yet. The doctor’s not due in for at least another fifteen minutes, and I’m no anesthesiologist, so you’re just going to have to lie there and wait. I hope they terminate you. You obviously aren’t a proper specimen, with that smartass attitude of yours. I don’t think they can beat that out of you. But if they can, I think I’ll volunteer to watch. I—“
“Susan, what are you doing?”
“Oh, Dr. Borne. I didn’t hear you come in. She uh, got physical with me, sir, I was afraid she would escape, so I gave her some [fill in].”
“You did what? You can’t give a Mod that kind of medicine right before a procedure! What the devil were you thinking?”
“I, I’m sorry, sir, I didn’t know…” Thea heard sniffles, and wondered if Suzie was faking tears. Fire her! Thea heard the doctor clear his throat, and then the sounds of muffled voices and footsteps. The door closed, and Thea was alone. She felt herself begin to fall deeper into unconsciousness. You have to fight the medicine, Thea, the doc was right, if you don’t fight it, you might not be able to wake up. Thea heard a noise outside, and then rapid footsteps approaching the bed. She tried to stay awake, but she was losing her hold on reality. She began to see colors behind her eyes, and thought she saw a winding path ahead of her. She noticed that she seemed to be able to walk, so she followed the road.
Are you sure you want to go there? What if you can’t get back? Thea looked up and saw Josh, How did you get here?
I’ve been with you the whole time, Thea. I’m sorry I wasn’t more help. I didn’t know the nurse was a friggin psycho. Sometimes, if you stand up to them, they’ll leave you alone for a while. We need more time, so I was trying to buy us some. I fucked it up. I’m sorry. You have to fight the medicine though, Thea. I really think we should go the other way, back toward the procedure room. If you get too far away, you might not make it back. Thea didn’t think she wanted to go back. She felt unafraid and peaceful, kind of floaty, and she liked it. The path began to change, there was a river on one side, with fields of trees, beautiful flowers, and she could even smell them in the breeze that ruffled her hair.
Look at it! It’s so pretty here, who cares if I ever go back. Home sucks anyway. I don’t have any friends left, my parents have lost their minds. Maybe it would be better for everyone if I just stayed here.
So you would give up, then? Stay here, where nothing is real, and just give up. Wow, I guess I had you pegged all wrong. Josh turned around, shaking his head, and began to walk back.
I can’t believe you’d let that bitch nurse win. Don’t you still want to kick her in the face? Come to think of it, she kind of did want some revenge. She took another look down the path and noticed that the colors were fading in and out, and the breeze had disappeared. She started feeling cold, and was having some trouble catching her breath.
Josh, wait! I can’t breathe, what’s happening to me?
I don’t know. Oh shit, they’re doing the procedure anyway! Thea, if you don’t wake up, you’ll die. Josh took her hand, but his fingers slipped through hers, and she realized that none of this was real. The colors began to fade to black, and Thea started running back the direction she had come.
The ground beneath her feet felt like sand, and then like mud, sucking her under, making it impossible for her to go on. She struggled to continue, but felt her limbs beginning to grow heavy again. The next thing she knew, she felt like she was in water, and sinking to the bottom of the ocean. It grew colder, and she couldn’t breathe at all. She held her breath as long as she could, then gave up, and inhaled the water.
Except there wasn’t any water. And she wasn’t sinking anymore. Now she was floating, and when she looked down, she saw her body, and six or seven people standing around her. One had a needle that was sticking out of her abdomen, and he was yelling something about a harvest. Another doctor was injecting something into one arm, while another was on the other side, injecting something else into the other one. Another person was watching the monitors, and Thea noticed with mild curiosity that all of the lines were flat. There was one person who was holding a bag over her mouth and squeezing, although Thea wasn’t sure why she bothered since she was pretty sure she was dead.
The person with the needle in her abdomen took it out and left the room. The two who were injecting stuff into her arms finished whatever they were doing, and backed away from the table. Thea noticed that there was still another person with those paddle things like on the movies, and Thea knew they were going to try to restart her heart.
She watched as they shocked her once, twice, then three times. On the third time, Thea felt something strange in the back of her head. It felt like someone was pulling the back of her hair, and she realized she was being pulled down, back into her body. She looked up and saw the faintest image of Josh. It waved, winked, then faded to black as Thea lost consciousness.
Even Josh seemed to have more of an idea what was happening that she did, and this made things worse. The weekend had been strangely silent in the house, with Thea’s mom giving her looks and winks, but not speaking to her except to tell her when dinner was ready. Thea was glad to know that she had her mom’s moral support, so when Monday rolled around, and things were just as bad as ever, Thea was able to carry on in spite of it.
She survived Mrs. Baumgarten, somehow managing to stay under the radar, for the most part. That week was a difficult one academically, and several students couldn’t manage the lessons, so Mrs. B. spent most of her time ridiculing them instead of Thea.
Sara and her friends were still making their comments, and generally being pains in the ass, but Thea was starting to get used to it and it didn’t hurt quite as much.
She was amazed that she could survive it without friends around, but there were a couple of students who had been nice, and told her that they couldn’t stand Sara, to hang in there, and that it couldn’t last forever.
Thea managed to survive and even thrive in her environment, much to her own surprise. She had always excelled in school, so most of her teachers were nice to her.
Things were falling into a routine, and Thea was thankful for it. She wasn’t able to meet Josh at his house [when was it?] on that day, her mom came and picked her up from school for a doctor’s appointment Thea had known nothing about.
“What’s the deal, Mom? Why didn’t you tell me about this before?”
“I didn’t know about it until today. The people at your dad’s work are doing checkups for everybody, including the kids. Today was the only day they could do it, so we have to go. Why? Did you have plans?”
“No, I was just wondering. Dad’s work never did checkups like this before, though, did they?”
“Yes, actually, we’ve always done your checkups with one of the Company’s doctors.” This was news to Thea. She’d never realized that Dr. Bennett had worked for the Company. He worked out of his own office, and no one had ever mentioned it before. Thea remembered that Josh’s dad was a doctor, and wondered if he might be the one doing the exams.
When they got there, Thea’s dad was outside waiting for them. He kissed her mom, and ruffled Thea’s hair, which was something she didn’t remember him ever doing before. Thea had a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach, and suddenly wanted desperately to get out of there.
Her dad placed an arm around her and guided her into the building. They went into a foyer and Thea saw a smiling woman at a reception desk. They walked down a short hallway toward the woman, and as they walked through the open doorway, there was a quiet beep, and the woman looked up and greeted them.
“You must be Thea. Dan has told us so much about you. Take theses papers Mrs. Watson and fill them out. Dan, you know where Thea needs to go, so why don’t you show her, and I’ll give you your forms when you get back, okay?” Thea’s mom hesitated.
“Why can’t I go back with her? We’ve always been with her for checkups before.”
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Watson, but there is a lot of paper work to fill out this time. I think it would be better for every one if you sat down and started on it now. Is that going to be a problem, Mrs. Watson, or do you understand now?” Thea watched as her mom’s eyes registered fear, understanding, and then resignation. She turned and hugged Thea hard, and said, “I’ll be right here when you get back sweetheart. You just stay calm, and I’ll be waiting for you. Ok?”
Thea nodded and followed her father down a long, brightly lit corridor. She tried to ask her dad what was going on, but he just shook his head and refused to speak. When they reached the end of the hallway, they turned right and headed down another hallway. When they reached the third door, Thea’s dad stopped, opened the door, and ushered her in.
The smell of disinfectant assaulted her nose the moment she entered the room, and vague memories tickled the back of her mind. Needles and bars in a white room flashed, and then it was gone, but the cold sweat and half-remembered fear remained.
Thea turned to her dad and was shocked to see that he was gone. She started to leave to go find him, but a disembodied voice stopped her.
“Welcome, Dorothea. Please, go to the table, remove your clothes, and put on the gown you see at the foot of the table. I’ll be in when you’ve finished, just push the call button, okay?”
Thea entered the room and looked around. It looked like any other doctor’s office, but Thea had the distinct feeling she was being watched. She looked for a camera or two-way mirror, but there wasn’t a mirror, and if there was a camera, it invisible. She took a deep breath and started changing her clothes. She pulled the sheet over her and pulled her shirt off, being careful not to reveal any skin to whatever eyes could see. She had mastered changing clothes in public during camp the past four years. They were always changing clothes on busses, and it was a contest to see who could do it the fastest without dropping their cover. Thea had always won, so in a matter of a few seconds, she had changed clothes, covered herself with a sheet, and pressing the call button, which someone had safety pinned to the vinyl covering.
The doctor came in and smiled at her.
“Hello, Thea, I’m Doctor Morgan. It’s so nice to meet you. I hope it isn’t too cold in here for you?” She paused, but Thea couldn’t answer. Something about this doctor was familiar, and Thea was terrified. The doctor must have seen something in Thea’s face, because she froze for a second, and pressed a button on the wall.
“Now you just sit here and relax, Thea, I’ll go get Dr. Borne and his nurse, and they will finish your exam.” Dr. Morgan left, and Thea heard a click. She went and checked the door. Locked. Thea had never liked being closed up in a room alone, and she began feeling as though she couldn’t breathe. Her heart rate went up, and her peripheral vision blacked out. She started seeing spots, and realized that she’d forgotten to breathe. She took several deep breaths, and tried to calm down. She kept hearing her mom and Josh saying “Stay calm, Stay calm.” She took more deep breaths, and concentrated on relaxing. After she started calming down, the lights flickered and went out. There wasn’t a window in the room, and it was pitch black with only a small ribbon of light from the hallway.
Thea saw the light from the hallway, and knew that for some reason, these people were trying to freak her out. Somehow knowing made her calmer instead of scaring her, although she wasn’t sure how that was possible, but she continued to calm down, and felt peaceful.
She closed her eyes and imagined that Josh was with her. She could see his eyes in her mind, and that mischievous grin, and she could swear she saw his lips move and heard his voice whisper in her head, “Good Job, show the bastards they can’t control you!”
She laughed out loud, and felt confidence come from nowhere and envelop her.
The lights flickered on again, and in walked a man and woman, whom she assumed was Dr. Borne and his nurse. Her nametag said ‘Suzie’ and Thea thought she looked more like a Helga the Horrible than a Suzie.
Dr. Borne had a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, and Thea felt a chill as he reached his hand out to shake hers.
“I’m Dr. Borne, Thea, how often do you make the lights flicker at home?”
“What are you talking about? I’ve never made anything flicker.”
“No? Then why are you here?”
“Because they told me every one in the Company is having checkups, including the kids. And what’s the deal with you people, anyway? You lock me in here, turn the lights off, hoping I’ll freak out or something, and then when I don’t, you accuse me of making the lights go out, what, with telekinesis? Do you think I’m a complete moron? Get a new shtick Doc. I’ve got no time for this bullshit!” Thea couldn’t believe she’d just said that, and she could have sworn she heard a whispered laugh in the back of her brain. She looked at the doctor’s blank expression and laughed out loud. That seemed to break him out of his shocked state, and he pursed his lips in annoyance. Then he pasted another fake smile on, and began the physical. He felt her neck and armpits, listened to her heart and lungs, and did all the other normal stuff, then he cleared his throat and walked out.
‘Suzie’ stayed behind and said, “Follow me.” Thea wrapped the sheet around her waist, and started to grab her clothes, “Leave them.” Jeez, she even sounded like Helga the Horrible. She led Thea down several more hallways, and stopped at a door labeled ‘laboratory’. Thea knew that meant blood work, which wasn’t’ her favorite thing since it involved needles, but she figured it must be close to being over. She felt like she’d passed [or failed] some sosrt of test, and was finally moving on to the next phase. Her nerves were still strangely calm, and although she didn’t know how, she was grateful.
Suzie pointed her to another table, and she sat down, waiting to see what would happen next. When Suzie opened a drawer and took out vials for blood, and a butterfly needle to stick her with, she felt a little nauseous. Suzie looked at her and grinned.
“Not scared of a little needle, are we?” She smirked, and Thea felt the blood leave her head. She took a few deep breaths and closed her eyes. She saw Josh in her mind’s eye, nodding encouragement, and she drew strength from him somehow.
“Not at all. Just don’t miss.” Thea imagined kicking the smirk off Suzie’s face, and smiled. Suzie gave her a strange look, and got down to business. She wrapped the tourniquet around her arm, poked around with her finger forever, trying to find a vein, and finally stuck the needle in Thea’s arm. She didn’t miss the vein, and Thea was relieved, but a little disappointed. She was half looking forward to kicking somebody.
Suzie took three vials of blood, then took out a syringe filled with a clear liquid, and attached it to the needle in Thea’s arm. Before Thea could say anything, she had pushed the med into her vein, and removed the needle.
“What was that?”
“Something to help you relax. And to help change your attitude.” Suzie got right up in Thea’s face, and Thea could smell her putrid breath. “I guess that will teach you, won’t it? Little bitch.”
Thea’s eyes began to close against her will, and she fought to regain consciousness. She tried to get up from the table, but fell face first onto the floor. Harsh laughter rang as if through a tunnel, as Thea struggled against the medicine’s effects. Her body was sluggish, and seemed to weigh a thousand pounds, then she felt her bladder let go, and warm wetness spread between her legs. Josh! Help me!! Her mind screamed out for the only friend she had. She felt like she was falling, and then she felt herself being dragged by her hair into the next room, and flung upon a gurney. Her eyes were still open, but she was completely paralyzed. She saw Suzie again, sneering as she grabbed Thea’s hair and lifted her head, showing her her own body, now naked on the table.
“You see that? Dozens of people are coming in here to watch the procedure, and here you are, naked as the day you were born, for all the world to see. That’s what you get for being disrespectful to Dr. Borne. No one talks to the good doctor that way and gets by with it. No one!”
Thea felt another needle enter her arm, an IV this time, she guessed since the pain stayed. Then she felt cold liquid enter her vein, and she hoped it would knock her unconscious.
“Oh, don’t worry, you’re going to be wide awake for a while yet. The doctor’s not due in for at least another fifteen minutes, and I’m no anesthesiologist, so you’re just going to have to lie there and wait. I hope they terminate you. You obviously aren’t a proper specimen, with that smartass attitude of yours. I don’t think they can beat that out of you. But if they can, I think I’ll volunteer to watch. I—“
“Susan, what are you doing?”
“Oh, Dr. Borne. I didn’t hear you come in. She uh, got physical with me, sir, I was afraid she would escape, so I gave her some [fill in].”
“You did what? You can’t give a Mod that kind of medicine right before a procedure! What the devil were you thinking?”
“I, I’m sorry, sir, I didn’t know…” Thea heard sniffles, and wondered if Suzie was faking tears. Fire her! Thea heard the doctor clear his throat, and then the sounds of muffled voices and footsteps. The door closed, and Thea was alone. She felt herself begin to fall deeper into unconsciousness. You have to fight the medicine, Thea, the doc was right, if you don’t fight it, you might not be able to wake up. Thea heard a noise outside, and then rapid footsteps approaching the bed. She tried to stay awake, but she was losing her hold on reality. She began to see colors behind her eyes, and thought she saw a winding path ahead of her. She noticed that she seemed to be able to walk, so she followed the road.
Are you sure you want to go there? What if you can’t get back? Thea looked up and saw Josh, How did you get here?
I’ve been with you the whole time, Thea. I’m sorry I wasn’t more help. I didn’t know the nurse was a friggin psycho. Sometimes, if you stand up to them, they’ll leave you alone for a while. We need more time, so I was trying to buy us some. I fucked it up. I’m sorry. You have to fight the medicine though, Thea. I really think we should go the other way, back toward the procedure room. If you get too far away, you might not make it back. Thea didn’t think she wanted to go back. She felt unafraid and peaceful, kind of floaty, and she liked it. The path began to change, there was a river on one side, with fields of trees, beautiful flowers, and she could even smell them in the breeze that ruffled her hair.
Look at it! It’s so pretty here, who cares if I ever go back. Home sucks anyway. I don’t have any friends left, my parents have lost their minds. Maybe it would be better for everyone if I just stayed here.
So you would give up, then? Stay here, where nothing is real, and just give up. Wow, I guess I had you pegged all wrong. Josh turned around, shaking his head, and began to walk back.
I can’t believe you’d let that bitch nurse win. Don’t you still want to kick her in the face? Come to think of it, she kind of did want some revenge. She took another look down the path and noticed that the colors were fading in and out, and the breeze had disappeared. She started feeling cold, and was having some trouble catching her breath.
Josh, wait! I can’t breathe, what’s happening to me?
I don’t know. Oh shit, they’re doing the procedure anyway! Thea, if you don’t wake up, you’ll die. Josh took her hand, but his fingers slipped through hers, and she realized that none of this was real. The colors began to fade to black, and Thea started running back the direction she had come.
The ground beneath her feet felt like sand, and then like mud, sucking her under, making it impossible for her to go on. She struggled to continue, but felt her limbs beginning to grow heavy again. The next thing she knew, she felt like she was in water, and sinking to the bottom of the ocean. It grew colder, and she couldn’t breathe at all. She held her breath as long as she could, then gave up, and inhaled the water.
Except there wasn’t any water. And she wasn’t sinking anymore. Now she was floating, and when she looked down, she saw her body, and six or seven people standing around her. One had a needle that was sticking out of her abdomen, and he was yelling something about a harvest. Another doctor was injecting something into one arm, while another was on the other side, injecting something else into the other one. Another person was watching the monitors, and Thea noticed with mild curiosity that all of the lines were flat. There was one person who was holding a bag over her mouth and squeezing, although Thea wasn’t sure why she bothered since she was pretty sure she was dead.
The person with the needle in her abdomen took it out and left the room. The two who were injecting stuff into her arms finished whatever they were doing, and backed away from the table. Thea noticed that there was still another person with those paddle things like on the movies, and Thea knew they were going to try to restart her heart.
She watched as they shocked her once, twice, then three times. On the third time, Thea felt something strange in the back of her head. It felt like someone was pulling the back of her hair, and she realized she was being pulled down, back into her body. She looked up and saw the faintest image of Josh. It waved, winked, then faded to black as Thea lost consciousness.
Friday, February 10, 2006
Scene 8 [mish mash]
Hello, I am writing this on my new Quickpad. Let’s hope this works well. Thea’s story goes a little like this. When last we saw Thea, she was trying to tell her mom about what had happened at school. Her mom seemed uninterested, and Thea gave up trying. She couldn’t understand what had happened to her parents since they had moved. They had always shown interest in what was happening in Thea’s life, but lately, they seemed like they were only interested in watching Thea, but not in talking to her or helping her deal with the move.
She hadn’t been able to get in touch more than once with the twins or Angela since the move. It was as if their friendship had meant nothing to the girls. They hadn’t even tried to return Thea’s calls. Once, Thea could have sworn she heard Kelly’s laugh in the background, but Kelly’s mom had said it was just the TV. No way. Kelly’s laugh was one of a kind.
Thea’s parents had promised that they would get the internet first thing after they moved, and the computer was still in its box.
Thea had written in a journal since she could write, but since they’d moved, she felt strange about writing things down. She had a feeling that someone had been reading it, so she’d put a strand of her hair between two pages toward the front of her journal, and wrapped it around and threaded it between two pages toward the end of the journal. The next day when she’d gone to write, the hair was gone.
Thea had never had any reason to doubt that her parents loved and trusted her until they stopped talking to her. She didn’t know what was going on yet, but she had never been one to go down without a fight.
If she couldn’t trust her parents, if she didn’t have friends, she would figure out a way to do without.
Then she remembered Josh, and felt a little hope. Yes, he was weird, but he had helped her out of a difficult situation, and Thea was glad that she had finally found someone willing to help. If she had to, she’d go it alone but she really hoped that Josh was going to be her friend.
When they got home, Thea went to her room and lay down on her bed. She fell asleep the moment her head hit the pillow. She didn’t wake up until morning, but she felt like she’d been running all night long. There had been dreams that people were chasing her, and of needles, and of white rooms with bars and screaming children.
When she told her mom, she was still sick, her mom took one look at her drawn, gray face and sent her back to bed. She stayed home from work at the pharmacy that day, and Thea remembered how things had been before they’d moved.
Her mom took care of her, brought her soup, and fussed over her all day. Thea’s mom held her as she had when she was little. They sat on the couch and watched old movies.
After the third movie, Thea looked at her mom and asked, “Mom, what’s really going on? Why is everything so different now. What did I do wrong?”
Her mother's eyes welled up and she stroked Thea’s cheek and wiped the tears that Thea didn’t remember crying.
“Oh, baby.” She put her finger up to her lips and started the movie. She turned up the volume, and then led Thea out into the back yard.
“Baby, I love you so much, but we can’t be the same as we were. I can’t tell you what’s going on, sweetheart, but if you look hard enough, you will figure it out. All I can tell you is, stays calm no matter what happens, and don’t trust anyone with your secrets. Stay strong, baby. I’m sorry I can’t do more to help.
She hadn’t been able to get in touch more than once with the twins or Angela since the move. It was as if their friendship had meant nothing to the girls. They hadn’t even tried to return Thea’s calls. Once, Thea could have sworn she heard Kelly’s laugh in the background, but Kelly’s mom had said it was just the TV. No way. Kelly’s laugh was one of a kind.
Thea’s parents had promised that they would get the internet first thing after they moved, and the computer was still in its box.
Thea had written in a journal since she could write, but since they’d moved, she felt strange about writing things down. She had a feeling that someone had been reading it, so she’d put a strand of her hair between two pages toward the front of her journal, and wrapped it around and threaded it between two pages toward the end of the journal. The next day when she’d gone to write, the hair was gone.
Thea had never had any reason to doubt that her parents loved and trusted her until they stopped talking to her. She didn’t know what was going on yet, but she had never been one to go down without a fight.
If she couldn’t trust her parents, if she didn’t have friends, she would figure out a way to do without.
Then she remembered Josh, and felt a little hope. Yes, he was weird, but he had helped her out of a difficult situation, and Thea was glad that she had finally found someone willing to help. If she had to, she’d go it alone but she really hoped that Josh was going to be her friend.
When they got home, Thea went to her room and lay down on her bed. She fell asleep the moment her head hit the pillow. She didn’t wake up until morning, but she felt like she’d been running all night long. There had been dreams that people were chasing her, and of needles, and of white rooms with bars and screaming children.
When she told her mom, she was still sick, her mom took one look at her drawn, gray face and sent her back to bed. She stayed home from work at the pharmacy that day, and Thea remembered how things had been before they’d moved.
Her mom took care of her, brought her soup, and fussed over her all day. Thea’s mom held her as she had when she was little. They sat on the couch and watched old movies.
After the third movie, Thea looked at her mom and asked, “Mom, what’s really going on? Why is everything so different now. What did I do wrong?”
Her mother's eyes welled up and she stroked Thea’s cheek and wiped the tears that Thea didn’t remember crying.
“Oh, baby.” She put her finger up to her lips and started the movie. She turned up the volume, and then led Thea out into the back yard.
“Baby, I love you so much, but we can’t be the same as we were. I can’t tell you what’s going on, sweetheart, but if you look hard enough, you will figure it out. All I can tell you is, stays calm no matter what happens, and don’t trust anyone with your secrets. Stay strong, baby. I’m sorry I can’t do more to help.
Monday, February 06, 2006
Scene 8
On the way home, Thea tried to tell her mom what was happening at school, but she seemed distracted. Thea gave up trying to talk before she got to the part where she had left the school. Thea didn't know what the deal was with her parents. They had been acting weird since announcing The Big Move [to Hell] as Thea had begun calling this particular chapter in her life.
Her parents had always been good, loving parents. They weren't the Cleavers, but Thea had always known they loved her, and had felt like she could tell them anything. That was one thing she had that her friends hadn't. The twins and Angela had always been on their own when it came to family support. They had often talked about how they felt like they were just tolerated by their parents. Thea could never relate with her friends' feelings until now.
She felt like her parents were watching her, but that they weren't part of her life any more.
AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh! It's 2:30 in the freaking morning, and the two year old is awake again! Sorry guys, this is gonna have to wait until tomorrow, I'm afraid.
Her parents had always been good, loving parents. They weren't the Cleavers, but Thea had always known they loved her, and had felt like she could tell them anything. That was one thing she had that her friends hadn't. The twins and Angela had always been on their own when it came to family support. They had often talked about how they felt like they were just tolerated by their parents. Thea could never relate with her friends' feelings until now.
She felt like her parents were watching her, but that they weren't part of her life any more.
AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh! It's 2:30 in the freaking morning, and the two year old is awake again! Sorry guys, this is gonna have to wait until tomorrow, I'm afraid.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Writing Past The Block [re-post]
This is the point at which I usually stop in my attempts at writing a novel. I don't like the story. My characters don't have enough character. It's harder now for some reason.
I have never made it past this point. It doesn't seem to have any connection to word count, it's just the point where I start second-guessing every thing I've written.I see holes in the plot. My mind says that you, the reader, will never be able to suspend your disbelief that much because the words are stupid to begin with.
The perfectionist in me sees what I wanted to say, compares it to what actually got written, and shakes her head in disgust. Feelings of inadequacy plague me at this point, and I want to stop writing the story. My brain says that maybe if I start over with something different, it will turn out better.
But I know that's a lie.
I know that if I don't finish this novel, I'll never finish any novel. Because it's not about the story. It's about me. This all boils down to my amazing ability to give up any time things get difficult. "If I can't do it right, I won't do it at all." It never ceases to amaze me that some people with 'low self-esteem,' push themselves harder than most in an effort to prove themselves.
I am the opposite. I purposely under-achieve out of fear that if I try, I'll find out I'm not the best [or that I'm one of the worst in the history of mankind].
Blogging a novel was an attempt to get around this, but it looks like I'm gonna have to either deal with it and get over it, or abandon the dream of being a writer altogether.
I don't want to abandon another dream.
I want to stick it out, because I know that I can do this. Thea's story may never see real publication, but finishing this will only make me a better writer, and eventually, I'll be good enough.
I just have to finish this story.
--Originally Posted by Shelbi at 2/04/2006 12:15:00 AM
I have never made it past this point. It doesn't seem to have any connection to word count, it's just the point where I start second-guessing every thing I've written.I see holes in the plot. My mind says that you, the reader, will never be able to suspend your disbelief that much because the words are stupid to begin with.
The perfectionist in me sees what I wanted to say, compares it to what actually got written, and shakes her head in disgust. Feelings of inadequacy plague me at this point, and I want to stop writing the story. My brain says that maybe if I start over with something different, it will turn out better.
But I know that's a lie.
I know that if I don't finish this novel, I'll never finish any novel. Because it's not about the story. It's about me. This all boils down to my amazing ability to give up any time things get difficult. "If I can't do it right, I won't do it at all." It never ceases to amaze me that some people with 'low self-esteem,' push themselves harder than most in an effort to prove themselves.
I am the opposite. I purposely under-achieve out of fear that if I try, I'll find out I'm not the best [or that I'm one of the worst in the history of mankind].
Blogging a novel was an attempt to get around this, but it looks like I'm gonna have to either deal with it and get over it, or abandon the dream of being a writer altogether.
I don't want to abandon another dream.
I want to stick it out, because I know that I can do this. Thea's story may never see real publication, but finishing this will only make me a better writer, and eventually, I'll be good enough.
I just have to finish this story.
--Originally Posted by Shelbi at 2/04/2006 12:15:00 AM
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Okay, let's see if this one works
My other blog is messed up and ate a couple of posts from last night.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Scene 7
He was wearing another Metallica t-shirt, although this one was in much better shape than the one from the other day. His hair was sticking up at odd angles all over his head as if he'd run his fingers through his hair instead of combing it. She didn't see any bruises from the mishap with the car, though, so that was good. There were dark circles under his eyes, but there was a definite glint of mischief in the eyes themselves, and for some reason Thea felt like he was reading her thoughts and laughing at her.
He got up from his chair, shoved a book at her and began firing off instructions as he let her toward the front steps.
"Okay, save the questions for another time. If you hadn't taken so long to get here, we would have had more time for discussion. As it is, you'll be lucky to get back to school before all hell breaks loose. You have to go back, and you have to stay calm. Read the book I gave you." She looked down at the cover, "Astronomy for Dummies."
"Don't let anyone else read what's inside. If they find out you've got it, things will go to shit in a heartbeat." He stopped and turned to face her at the front gate of his house. "Okay, now listen to me. You have to go back to school. Baumgarten was pretty freaked out by the shriveled hand thing, so she hasn't gone to check on you yet. Go to Mr. Wiggins's office and tell him you were sick. Hang on a minute." He went inside the front door of his house and let it slam. It was one of those screen doors with a spring, so it slammed four times instead of one and made Thea jump each time.
This kid was definitely some kind of freak. How could he know what she imagined about Mrs. Baumgarten's hand? And why was he waiting for her. And what was with the creepy little remote control car, and all the black Metallica t-shirts? She needed to leave, now. But she couldn't seem to make her feet move. If she admitted it to herself, she was more than a little curious about this boy, whose name she didn't even know! And he was the first semi-friendly face she'd seen since moving to this horrid little town.
The prospect of a friend outweighed his weirdness for the time being, so she waited. He came out with a small spray bottle in his hand.
"Open up," he said, all business. Thea hesitated.
"Oh, come on. You know I'm not going to hurt you, so open up and listen to me, okay?" She opened her mouth and he sprayed something awful into her mouth. It smelled like, vomit! She coughed and sputtered for a minute and she could have sworn she heard a chuckle.
"Don't breathe on me. You reek. It's perfect, Wiggins won't know what hit him. He'll believe anything you say just to get you to shut up!" Thea finally caught her breath found her tongue.
"Wait a freaking minute here! Who are you? What are you talking about? Why do I need to go back to school? Why aren't you in school? What do you know about Mrs. Baumgarten's hand? How do you know about it? What's this book for?" She ran out of breath just then, and with the pause, the boy answered.
"I'm Josh. I'm talking about what you have to do to stay safe. You have to go back to school and stay calm or they will find out. We'll talk about 'they' later. I'm homeschooled. I know about Mrs. Baumgarten's hand because I was there. I'll tell you how later. The book is for you to read to teach you how to stay calm, because if you don't, you'll do something big that I can't cover, and they will know and things will get worse for you than they already are. Now, go back to school. Tell Wiggins that you got into trouble and then you got sick and that you've spent the last two hours in the bathroom puking your socks up and can you call your mom to come pick you up. Got it? Good. Now run, Thea. Come see me next Wednesday after school. Don't forget, you have to stay calm. Don't let them get to you. Read the book and do what it says, okay?"
Thea turned and ran back toward the school. She ran through yards in the general direction of the school, and although she hadn't realized it before, she was only a few blocks away. She stopped and caught her breath, then went into the school through a side entrance. She ran to the bathroom in the front hall of the school just as the bell rang. In the principal's office, she asked the secretary if she could see Mr. Wiggins. The secretary [name?] seemed unable to speak, but pointed to the principal's office and nodded. Thea remembered her breath then, having grown used to it as she was running full speed and panting on her way back to school.
She covered her mouth with a mumbled, "Sorry," and knocked on the principal's office door.
"Mr. Wiggins, I'm sorry to bother you, but I've been sick and need to go home. Can I call my mom?" Thea watched in fascination as the smell wafted over to Mr. Wiggins's nostrils, and almost laughed out loud as he tried to stop breathing and look pleasant and sympathetic at the same time.
"Oh, I should tell you that I got into trouble in Mrs. Baumgarten's class for smoking in the bathroom when I didn't, and she said that I would have detention and zeroes in all her classes today. I have never smoked, Mr. Wiggins! I wasn't feeling well, and when she yelled at me, I got really upset, and it made me--"
"Yes, yes, uh, Thea dear. I will assure Mrs. Baumgarten that you were indeed sick and not smoking in the bathroom." He turned and opened his window. "Does it seem stuffy in here to you? Ahem. You go on out to the pay phone and call your mom, kiddo." He reached into his pocket and fished out a couple of quarters. "Here's the money to make your call, you just run on out there, and then you can wait for her on the bench out there, okay?"
"Oh, thank you for talking to Mrs. Baumgarten for me, Mr. Wiggins. I'll go call my mom now."
Thea managed to keep a straight face until she rounded the corner from the offices, then she burst out laughing. She definitely owed Josh a big favor.
He got up from his chair, shoved a book at her and began firing off instructions as he let her toward the front steps.
"Okay, save the questions for another time. If you hadn't taken so long to get here, we would have had more time for discussion. As it is, you'll be lucky to get back to school before all hell breaks loose. You have to go back, and you have to stay calm. Read the book I gave you." She looked down at the cover, "Astronomy for Dummies."
"Don't let anyone else read what's inside. If they find out you've got it, things will go to shit in a heartbeat." He stopped and turned to face her at the front gate of his house. "Okay, now listen to me. You have to go back to school. Baumgarten was pretty freaked out by the shriveled hand thing, so she hasn't gone to check on you yet. Go to Mr. Wiggins's office and tell him you were sick. Hang on a minute." He went inside the front door of his house and let it slam. It was one of those screen doors with a spring, so it slammed four times instead of one and made Thea jump each time.
This kid was definitely some kind of freak. How could he know what she imagined about Mrs. Baumgarten's hand? And why was he waiting for her. And what was with the creepy little remote control car, and all the black Metallica t-shirts? She needed to leave, now. But she couldn't seem to make her feet move. If she admitted it to herself, she was more than a little curious about this boy, whose name she didn't even know! And he was the first semi-friendly face she'd seen since moving to this horrid little town.
The prospect of a friend outweighed his weirdness for the time being, so she waited. He came out with a small spray bottle in his hand.
"Open up," he said, all business. Thea hesitated.
"Oh, come on. You know I'm not going to hurt you, so open up and listen to me, okay?" She opened her mouth and he sprayed something awful into her mouth. It smelled like, vomit! She coughed and sputtered for a minute and she could have sworn she heard a chuckle.
"Don't breathe on me. You reek. It's perfect, Wiggins won't know what hit him. He'll believe anything you say just to get you to shut up!" Thea finally caught her breath found her tongue.
"Wait a freaking minute here! Who are you? What are you talking about? Why do I need to go back to school? Why aren't you in school? What do you know about Mrs. Baumgarten's hand? How do you know about it? What's this book for?" She ran out of breath just then, and with the pause, the boy answered.
"I'm Josh. I'm talking about what you have to do to stay safe. You have to go back to school and stay calm or they will find out. We'll talk about 'they' later. I'm homeschooled. I know about Mrs. Baumgarten's hand because I was there. I'll tell you how later. The book is for you to read to teach you how to stay calm, because if you don't, you'll do something big that I can't cover, and they will know and things will get worse for you than they already are. Now, go back to school. Tell Wiggins that you got into trouble and then you got sick and that you've spent the last two hours in the bathroom puking your socks up and can you call your mom to come pick you up. Got it? Good. Now run, Thea. Come see me next Wednesday after school. Don't forget, you have to stay calm. Don't let them get to you. Read the book and do what it says, okay?"
Thea turned and ran back toward the school. She ran through yards in the general direction of the school, and although she hadn't realized it before, she was only a few blocks away. She stopped and caught her breath, then went into the school through a side entrance. She ran to the bathroom in the front hall of the school just as the bell rang. In the principal's office, she asked the secretary if she could see Mr. Wiggins. The secretary [name?] seemed unable to speak, but pointed to the principal's office and nodded. Thea remembered her breath then, having grown used to it as she was running full speed and panting on her way back to school.
She covered her mouth with a mumbled, "Sorry," and knocked on the principal's office door.
"Mr. Wiggins, I'm sorry to bother you, but I've been sick and need to go home. Can I call my mom?" Thea watched in fascination as the smell wafted over to Mr. Wiggins's nostrils, and almost laughed out loud as he tried to stop breathing and look pleasant and sympathetic at the same time.
"Oh, I should tell you that I got into trouble in Mrs. Baumgarten's class for smoking in the bathroom when I didn't, and she said that I would have detention and zeroes in all her classes today. I have never smoked, Mr. Wiggins! I wasn't feeling well, and when she yelled at me, I got really upset, and it made me--"
"Yes, yes, uh, Thea dear. I will assure Mrs. Baumgarten that you were indeed sick and not smoking in the bathroom." He turned and opened his window. "Does it seem stuffy in here to you? Ahem. You go on out to the pay phone and call your mom, kiddo." He reached into his pocket and fished out a couple of quarters. "Here's the money to make your call, you just run on out there, and then you can wait for her on the bench out there, okay?"
"Oh, thank you for talking to Mrs. Baumgarten for me, Mr. Wiggins. I'll go call my mom now."
Thea managed to keep a straight face until she rounded the corner from the offices, then she burst out laughing. She definitely owed Josh a big favor.
Monday, January 23, 2006
Scene Six
The next two weeks were the worst of Thea's life. Sara and her circle of friends tormented her mercilessly. The first few days, Thea had no choice but to walk through the halls with Sara and her friends.
[re-write: show don't tell]
They made Thea walk next to Sara, and they would all whisper insults at Thea that only she could hear. After walking to the first couple of classes with 'the herd,' as Thea had already dubbed them, she had tried to find her own way to class, but she'd gotten there after Sara, and Sara had told Mrs. Baumgarten that Thea had insisted that she had to go to the bathroom, and as the girls were waiting for her, they heard what sounded like a lighter, and then smelled cigarette smoke. Sara couldn't say for sure that it was Thea, but the girls had gotten scared and come on to class. Sara and her friends didn't want to get Thea into trouble, but they knew that smoking was a horrible habit, and they wanted to help their new friend.
"That's a load of crap! I--"
"Miss Watson! I WILL NOT listen to filthy language in my classroom! You will leave this room at once and go stand in the hall until the end of class. You will receive a zero on the pop quiz we are having today, and you will also receive a zero on the homework that is due today in ALL my classes, not just this one. Your behavior is inexcusable, Miss Watson, and I will be reporting this to Mr. Wiggins as well as your parents. Do you understand me, Miss Watson?" Thea said nothing. "Well, DO YOU?"
She still didn't answer out loud, but nodded her head and turned to leave. She was afraid that if she spoke, she would either cry or say something to make things worse. She felt a bony hand grab her shoulder, and the barely controlled hurt and rage she was feeling broke free for a split second. Her mind screamed, "No!" and in her mind's eye she saw Mrs. Baumgarten's hand shrivel up and fall away. She heard Mrs. Baumgarten gasp, and then she let go of Thea's shoulder.
Thea didn't turn to look, she just walked out of the classroom, and instead of stopping, turned and headed down the hallway and out of the school. The moment she got out of sight of the school, her eyes blurred from the tears she hadn't realized she'd been crying, and she stopped in an alley and sobbed for the first time since they'd moved to this nightmare of a place.
She didn't know how long she cried, but when she could stand and see again, she began walking. The road to her house went right by the school, and she needed to find a different way home. The town wasn't very big, so she wasn't worried about getting lost. She let herself explore a little, and eventually ended up on a street that felt familiar.
Her sense of direction was pretty good, and she knew the street was going in the wrong direction to take her home, but she still felt like this was the street she needed to take. She followed it until it ended in what looked like a gravel driveway. Thea looked both ways, paying attention to what she was feeling now, and got the impression that she should continue the way she was going.
The road slanted upward in a steep hill, and disappeared into a thick bunch of trees. Thea knew this was the part where, if she had been in a movie theater, she would have been screaming at the character to stop and not go up the creepy hill. But this wasn't a movie, and she didn't feel afraid. In fact, she was beginning to feel almost peaceful, which was something she was beginning to think she'd ever find again.
She walked up the lane, which turned several times before it ended at the front gate of a big old two-story house. The gate was open, and she followed the sidewalk up to the wrap around porch of the house. She looked around, and saw a remote controlled car careening toward her from around the corner of the porch. It stopped before it hit her, and she saw what looked like a miniature camera tilt up toward her and stop when it was aiming at her face.
The car turned around and as if to head back the way it had come, but as it turned, the camera stayed trained on Thea's face. The car started going toward the corner of the house, but when Thea didn't follow, it did a little fidgety dance and waited until she took the hint and started.
When she rounded the corner, she looked up and saw the boy her mom had hit sitting in a chair with a laptop computer on his lap, grinning at her.
"I wondered when you'd finally get here," he said.
[re-write: show don't tell]
They made Thea walk next to Sara, and they would all whisper insults at Thea that only she could hear. After walking to the first couple of classes with 'the herd,' as Thea had already dubbed them, she had tried to find her own way to class, but she'd gotten there after Sara, and Sara had told Mrs. Baumgarten that Thea had insisted that she had to go to the bathroom, and as the girls were waiting for her, they heard what sounded like a lighter, and then smelled cigarette smoke. Sara couldn't say for sure that it was Thea, but the girls had gotten scared and come on to class. Sara and her friends didn't want to get Thea into trouble, but they knew that smoking was a horrible habit, and they wanted to help their new friend.
"That's a load of crap! I--"
"Miss Watson! I WILL NOT listen to filthy language in my classroom! You will leave this room at once and go stand in the hall until the end of class. You will receive a zero on the pop quiz we are having today, and you will also receive a zero on the homework that is due today in ALL my classes, not just this one. Your behavior is inexcusable, Miss Watson, and I will be reporting this to Mr. Wiggins as well as your parents. Do you understand me, Miss Watson?" Thea said nothing. "Well, DO YOU?"
She still didn't answer out loud, but nodded her head and turned to leave. She was afraid that if she spoke, she would either cry or say something to make things worse. She felt a bony hand grab her shoulder, and the barely controlled hurt and rage she was feeling broke free for a split second. Her mind screamed, "No!" and in her mind's eye she saw Mrs. Baumgarten's hand shrivel up and fall away. She heard Mrs. Baumgarten gasp, and then she let go of Thea's shoulder.
Thea didn't turn to look, she just walked out of the classroom, and instead of stopping, turned and headed down the hallway and out of the school. The moment she got out of sight of the school, her eyes blurred from the tears she hadn't realized she'd been crying, and she stopped in an alley and sobbed for the first time since they'd moved to this nightmare of a place.
She didn't know how long she cried, but when she could stand and see again, she began walking. The road to her house went right by the school, and she needed to find a different way home. The town wasn't very big, so she wasn't worried about getting lost. She let herself explore a little, and eventually ended up on a street that felt familiar.
Her sense of direction was pretty good, and she knew the street was going in the wrong direction to take her home, but she still felt like this was the street she needed to take. She followed it until it ended in what looked like a gravel driveway. Thea looked both ways, paying attention to what she was feeling now, and got the impression that she should continue the way she was going.
The road slanted upward in a steep hill, and disappeared into a thick bunch of trees. Thea knew this was the part where, if she had been in a movie theater, she would have been screaming at the character to stop and not go up the creepy hill. But this wasn't a movie, and she didn't feel afraid. In fact, she was beginning to feel almost peaceful, which was something she was beginning to think she'd ever find again.
She walked up the lane, which turned several times before it ended at the front gate of a big old two-story house. The gate was open, and she followed the sidewalk up to the wrap around porch of the house. She looked around, and saw a remote controlled car careening toward her from around the corner of the porch. It stopped before it hit her, and she saw what looked like a miniature camera tilt up toward her and stop when it was aiming at her face.
The car turned around and as if to head back the way it had come, but as it turned, the camera stayed trained on Thea's face. The car started going toward the corner of the house, but when Thea didn't follow, it did a little fidgety dance and waited until she took the hint and started.
When she rounded the corner, she looked up and saw the boy her mom had hit sitting in a chair with a laptop computer on his lap, grinning at her.
"I wondered when you'd finally get here," he said.
Scene 4 1/2 [add between scenes 4 and 5]
"Are you okay?" Mom had finally decided to take control of the situation. Thea reached out to touch the boy's injured leg, but he lurched away, and stumbled to his feet.
"Uh, yeah, I'm fine. My dad's a doctor, he's got some medicine at home for it. I'll be fine, um, I just need to get home." He limped across the road, ran between two houses, and was gone before Thea and her mom had time to say anything. They just stood there for a minute and gaped, first at the place where the boy had been, then at each other.
"Well, I guess he's okay, then. Come on honey, let's get home before anything else goes wrong." They got into the car, and rode in silence all the way home.
Dinner was unusually silent that night, all three of the Watsons were deep in their own thoughts. Dad asked how their days had gone, and they both mumbled, "Fine," without looking up at their plates. Normally, such silence would have been met with more questions, but Dad seemed to be as distracted as Thea and her mom, and no more was said that evening.
Thea went to bed early, and she didn't hear her mom and dad speak until after they had come into her room to make sure she was still asleep. After they left, she crept to the door and opened it a crack. She could hear their voices downstairs, and went out into the hallway at the top of the stairs.
She couldn't make out any words, but they both sounded angry, and, if Thea was completely honest, a little scared. She started to go down the stairs, but the second her foot touched the top stair, their voices stopped all of a sudden.
"Did you hear something?" Dad asked from just around the corner at the bottom of the stairs. Thea jumped, and ran back to her room as fast as she could. She closed the door and got back into bed. She thought she heard the front door open and close, and then there was silence.
She was going to have to do some investigating if she was ever going to find out what was really going on here. School started in two days, and she hadn't met any kids except the boy her mom had hit with her car. That, the fact that she'd only talked to Angela and the twins a couple of times, and the new weirdness with her parents, were weighing on Thea's nerves until she though she might lose it.
Thoughts whirled in her mind until she finally fell asleep from exhaustion. That night the dreams began. The next morning, Thea couldn't remember any details, just the feeling that she was being sucked up into a tornado of chaos from which she might not get out.
"Uh, yeah, I'm fine. My dad's a doctor, he's got some medicine at home for it. I'll be fine, um, I just need to get home." He limped across the road, ran between two houses, and was gone before Thea and her mom had time to say anything. They just stood there for a minute and gaped, first at the place where the boy had been, then at each other.
"Well, I guess he's okay, then. Come on honey, let's get home before anything else goes wrong." They got into the car, and rode in silence all the way home.
Dinner was unusually silent that night, all three of the Watsons were deep in their own thoughts. Dad asked how their days had gone, and they both mumbled, "Fine," without looking up at their plates. Normally, such silence would have been met with more questions, but Dad seemed to be as distracted as Thea and her mom, and no more was said that evening.
Thea went to bed early, and she didn't hear her mom and dad speak until after they had come into her room to make sure she was still asleep. After they left, she crept to the door and opened it a crack. She could hear their voices downstairs, and went out into the hallway at the top of the stairs.
She couldn't make out any words, but they both sounded angry, and, if Thea was completely honest, a little scared. She started to go down the stairs, but the second her foot touched the top stair, their voices stopped all of a sudden.
"Did you hear something?" Dad asked from just around the corner at the bottom of the stairs. Thea jumped, and ran back to her room as fast as she could. She closed the door and got back into bed. She thought she heard the front door open and close, and then there was silence.
She was going to have to do some investigating if she was ever going to find out what was really going on here. School started in two days, and she hadn't met any kids except the boy her mom had hit with her car. That, the fact that she'd only talked to Angela and the twins a couple of times, and the new weirdness with her parents, were weighing on Thea's nerves until she though she might lose it.
Thoughts whirled in her mind until she finally fell asleep from exhaustion. That night the dreams began. The next morning, Thea couldn't remember any details, just the feeling that she was being sucked up into a tornado of chaos from which she might not get out.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Scene 5
On the first day of school, Thea got on the bus and saw curious, yet somewhat hostile looks from the kids on the bus. She took a deep breath, plastered on the best smile she could muster and looked for a seat. “Can I sit with you?” she asked a pleasant looking girl in the third seat back. “No, I’m saving this for my friend.” Thea moved on to the next seat, and the next, and the next. Everyone was saving a seat for their friends.
After what seemed like hours, but was probably only a minute, the bus driver yelled, “Find a seat, people! This bus don’t move til your fanny hits the leather.” Thea looked at the bus driver with tears in her eyes and started to say something. “Come on, y’all scoot over or move! We’re on a schedule here!” Still, no one moved. The bus driver, whose name was Mr. Gooch, let out a strange sound somewhere between a snort and a curse, and said, “Sara, scoot over or sit with someone else. Now.”
Sara gave Mr. Gooch a dirty look, then gazed at the Thea for a long moment. “Your mommy and daddy did a pitiful job dressing you this morning. I ain’t never seen nothing that ugly all on one person before.” Her friends tittered, Mr. Gooch yelled again, and Sara got up and moved into the seat across the aisle. Thea sat down, and the bus lurched forward with a big roar and headed off toward school.
Thea told herself that things could only get better from here. When the bus arrived at school, Thea stood and waited while every one else crowded into line to get off the bus. Each kid glared at her as he or she went by, and refused to let Thea get in line. The last three in line waited in the aisle right in front of Thea’s seat until all the other kids were off the bus. Then they all laughed and ran down the aisle and off the bus, ignoring Mr. Gooch’s bellowed, “Walk, you kids, WALK!”
Thea followed the mass of students into the school, and eventually ended up in the gym. The bleachers on both sides of the gym were pulled out, and on the front row were several signs, each with a grade written in black marker. Seventh, eighth and ninth grades were on one side, while tenth, eleventh, and twelfth were on the other.
Thea trudged to the seventh grade section of the bleachers. Her teacher was talking to a student seated on the second row of the bleachers, so she waited quietly for her to finish. While she waited, she glanced at the children who would be her classmates in the next year. Most of the boys were at the top of the bleachers, laughing and punching each other or throwing paper wads at the girls. Some of the girls were giggling and throwing the paper back at the boys. A few of them were writing notes back and forth in their notebooks. Still others were whispering quietly to each other behind their hands.
But then, a strange thing happened. One by one, the girls stopped what they were doing and glared at Thea. Then she saw her. The girl from the bus, sitting on the second row. The teacher had been talking to her, and Thea had been distracted when she finished. The teacher, with “Mrs. Baumgarten, Seventh Grade Advisor,” written in red marker on her name tag, was standing with her arms crossed, waiting with an expectant look on her face.
“Hello. My name is Mrs. Baumgarten. I assume you are Dorothea Watson since you are my only new student and I do not recognize you. Am I correct in making that deduction, Dorothea?”
“Yes, ma’am, but every one just calls me Thea.”
“That may be, Doro-thea, but the documents your parents filled out listed your full name as,” She checked the green spiral bound grade book clutched in her arms, “Watson, Dorothea Lynne,” she closed it with a satisfied smack and leveled a stare at Thea that brooked no disagreements.
“I detest nicknames, Miss Watson, therefore in my class, you will be referred to as Miss Watson, or Dorothea, depending upon whether or not you are in my good graces. Is that clear, Miss Watson?”
Thea wanted to ask which name meant what, but she had a sinking feeling she already knew the answer to that, and was pushing her luck as it was.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Good. Now, Sara Brown has kindly volunteered to be your buddy this year. She tells me that you already met on the bus this morning, is that correct?” Thea’s heart sank another notch.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Very well then, Sara will direct you to your various classes, as you have identical schedules. She will also acquaint you with what is expected of you in my class.”
The principal stepped to the middle of the gym and took a microphone from the stand. Mrs. Baumgarten pointed to a seat on the front row of the bleachers and gave Thea a slight shove in that direction.
Thea went to the spot and sat down. She couldn’t believe her rotten luck in teachers and classmates. She’d thought it was hard enough moving so far away from all of her friends, but this was unbelievable. She hoped that Sara had had a change of heart and had decided to be nice to her, but it was a feeble hope at best. She turned and looked up at where Sara was sitting with her friends. Sara glared at her, mouthed the word ‘freak,’ and elbowed the two girls sitting next to her. The girls turned, mouthed the word ‘freak,’ and giggled.
Thea faced the front and tried to concentrate what Principal Wiggins was saying, but she only heard a few words. Principal Wiggins said something about what a wonderful school year it was going to be, and after that, all Thea could think about was how awful she was afraid it would be for her.
After what seemed like hours, but was probably only a minute, the bus driver yelled, “Find a seat, people! This bus don’t move til your fanny hits the leather.” Thea looked at the bus driver with tears in her eyes and started to say something. “Come on, y’all scoot over or move! We’re on a schedule here!” Still, no one moved. The bus driver, whose name was Mr. Gooch, let out a strange sound somewhere between a snort and a curse, and said, “Sara, scoot over or sit with someone else. Now.”
Sara gave Mr. Gooch a dirty look, then gazed at the Thea for a long moment. “Your mommy and daddy did a pitiful job dressing you this morning. I ain’t never seen nothing that ugly all on one person before.” Her friends tittered, Mr. Gooch yelled again, and Sara got up and moved into the seat across the aisle. Thea sat down, and the bus lurched forward with a big roar and headed off toward school.
Thea told herself that things could only get better from here. When the bus arrived at school, Thea stood and waited while every one else crowded into line to get off the bus. Each kid glared at her as he or she went by, and refused to let Thea get in line. The last three in line waited in the aisle right in front of Thea’s seat until all the other kids were off the bus. Then they all laughed and ran down the aisle and off the bus, ignoring Mr. Gooch’s bellowed, “Walk, you kids, WALK!”
Thea followed the mass of students into the school, and eventually ended up in the gym. The bleachers on both sides of the gym were pulled out, and on the front row were several signs, each with a grade written in black marker. Seventh, eighth and ninth grades were on one side, while tenth, eleventh, and twelfth were on the other.
Thea trudged to the seventh grade section of the bleachers. Her teacher was talking to a student seated on the second row of the bleachers, so she waited quietly for her to finish. While she waited, she glanced at the children who would be her classmates in the next year. Most of the boys were at the top of the bleachers, laughing and punching each other or throwing paper wads at the girls. Some of the girls were giggling and throwing the paper back at the boys. A few of them were writing notes back and forth in their notebooks. Still others were whispering quietly to each other behind their hands.
But then, a strange thing happened. One by one, the girls stopped what they were doing and glared at Thea. Then she saw her. The girl from the bus, sitting on the second row. The teacher had been talking to her, and Thea had been distracted when she finished. The teacher, with “Mrs. Baumgarten, Seventh Grade Advisor,” written in red marker on her name tag, was standing with her arms crossed, waiting with an expectant look on her face.
“Hello. My name is Mrs. Baumgarten. I assume you are Dorothea Watson since you are my only new student and I do not recognize you. Am I correct in making that deduction, Dorothea?”
“Yes, ma’am, but every one just calls me Thea.”
“That may be, Doro-thea, but the documents your parents filled out listed your full name as,” She checked the green spiral bound grade book clutched in her arms, “Watson, Dorothea Lynne,” she closed it with a satisfied smack and leveled a stare at Thea that brooked no disagreements.
“I detest nicknames, Miss Watson, therefore in my class, you will be referred to as Miss Watson, or Dorothea, depending upon whether or not you are in my good graces. Is that clear, Miss Watson?”
Thea wanted to ask which name meant what, but she had a sinking feeling she already knew the answer to that, and was pushing her luck as it was.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Good. Now, Sara Brown has kindly volunteered to be your buddy this year. She tells me that you already met on the bus this morning, is that correct?” Thea’s heart sank another notch.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Very well then, Sara will direct you to your various classes, as you have identical schedules. She will also acquaint you with what is expected of you in my class.”
The principal stepped to the middle of the gym and took a microphone from the stand. Mrs. Baumgarten pointed to a seat on the front row of the bleachers and gave Thea a slight shove in that direction.
Thea went to the spot and sat down. She couldn’t believe her rotten luck in teachers and classmates. She’d thought it was hard enough moving so far away from all of her friends, but this was unbelievable. She hoped that Sara had had a change of heart and had decided to be nice to her, but it was a feeble hope at best. She turned and looked up at where Sara was sitting with her friends. Sara glared at her, mouthed the word ‘freak,’ and elbowed the two girls sitting next to her. The girls turned, mouthed the word ‘freak,’ and giggled.
Thea faced the front and tried to concentrate what Principal Wiggins was saying, but she only heard a few words. Principal Wiggins said something about what a wonderful school year it was going to be, and after that, all Thea could think about was how awful she was afraid it would be for her.
Scene 4 [Timer's on: 60:01]
The two weeks between The Big Move and the beginning of school were fairly uneventful. It was turning out to be a lot harder to talk to the twins and Angela than Thea had anticipated, though. She had only talked to each girl once, and their conversations had been cut short. The girls didn't sound quite right to Thea, but as soon as she'd asked, they'd been interrupted and had had to hang up. Thea knew something was wrong with her friends, but she couldn't find out what it was. It was the first time in her life she'd truly been helpless, and she hated it.
Thea's mom had taken Thea to the school for a tour the week before school. She couldn't believe how small it was. And no air conditioning except in the Principal's office, "To protect the computers," she'd been told by the school secretary who had been typing up the first newsletter for the new school year. She had been willing enough to let Thea and her mom poke around the school, but then the Principal came in and gave them the "four dollar tour," as he called it. It was all Thea could do to keep from rolling her eyes.
They followed Principal Wiggins around and listened to his stories of what a great education Thea would receive at Hopeton High, and how she should try out for Cheerleading, and join the Art Club, and FHA, because, "we're all Homemakers, you know." Just when she didn't think she could stand it anymore, they had circled around and ended up back at the Office. Principal Wiggins shook Mom's hand, and then he took Thea's hand, peered into her eyes, and said, "I know you will learn a lot here at Hopeton. Your path is secure." Huh?
"Uh, yes, well thank you, Mr. Wiggins, but we've taken up too much of your time already. Come on, Thea, let's go." Mom actually took Thea's hand, pulled her down the hall and through the door, and didn't let go until they reached the car. Thea noticed her hands were shaking as she unlocked the car. Mom giggled a little. "I guess I didn't really need to lock this thing, did I?"
"Mom, are you okay? What's up with that guy, anyway? 'Your path is secure?' Who does he think he is, professor Dumbledore?" More giggles. She started the car, and pulled out of the parking lot. Mom had never giggled in Thea's life. When she thought something was funny, the woman laughed. Loudly. She threw her head back and let it erupt from her soul. This weird, nervous titter was starting to grate on Thea's nerves. She was about to say so when she saw something out of the corner of her eye that looked like it was heading straight for the car.
"MOM, LOOK OUT!" Tires screeched, and a very surprised looking boy stopped right in front of the car. Mom wasn't able to stop the car in time, and the car bumped the boy in the legs hard enough to make him fall onto the hood of the car. Somehow, he held on and didn't go flying onto the road, but Thea heard the air whoosh out of him and felt like the air had been knocked out of her as well.
"Oh God, oh God oh God ohGod." Thea looked away from the boy on the hood to see her mother rocking back and forth, chanting "Oh Gods" and shaking her head. Thea was more freaked out by that than the boy on the hood. She didn't know what to do, so she slapped her mom on the side of the head.
"Mom, stop it!" Her mom stopped and looked at Thea as though she'd never seen her before. She seemed to remember then that she was the adult in the situation, and managed to open the car door on the first try. Thea got out as well and went around to the front of the car where the boy was leaning on the hood and rubbing his left knee.
"Are you okay?" The boy sucked air through his teeth and nodded once.
"I will be. I can't believe I didn't see you there. It was like one second the road was clear, and the next, you were there. Weird, huh?" Just then, the boy, who had been looking down at his injured knee, glanced up at Thea, and they both froze.
The boy was Thea's polar opposite in looks. He was rail thin and pale in a ratty old too-big Metallica t-shirt. Thea was slender but had a glow of health about her that the boy lacked. He had chocolate brown, wavy hair, and Thea's was long, straight, and honey colored.
But when they looked into each other's eyes, they each felt like they were looking into a mirror. Identical eyes, almost too big for their faces (definitely too big for the boy's face, Thea thought) they were clear blue, with green and gold flecks. Thea felt like she could have been looking at her twin.
Her parents had talked for years about where Thea had gotten her unique eyes. She certainly hadn't gotten them from her parents, because they both had brown eyes. They had decided it must be Great Auntie Ida, which was a joke, since neither one of them had ever had an Aunt Ida. They had told her that no one in the entire world had eyes like hers, and yet here she was, staring directly at her own eyes gaping out of some one else's face.
Thea's mom had taken Thea to the school for a tour the week before school. She couldn't believe how small it was. And no air conditioning except in the Principal's office, "To protect the computers," she'd been told by the school secretary who had been typing up the first newsletter for the new school year. She had been willing enough to let Thea and her mom poke around the school, but then the Principal came in and gave them the "four dollar tour," as he called it. It was all Thea could do to keep from rolling her eyes.
They followed Principal Wiggins around and listened to his stories of what a great education Thea would receive at Hopeton High, and how she should try out for Cheerleading, and join the Art Club, and FHA, because, "we're all Homemakers, you know." Just when she didn't think she could stand it anymore, they had circled around and ended up back at the Office. Principal Wiggins shook Mom's hand, and then he took Thea's hand, peered into her eyes, and said, "I know you will learn a lot here at Hopeton. Your path is secure." Huh?
"Uh, yes, well thank you, Mr. Wiggins, but we've taken up too much of your time already. Come on, Thea, let's go." Mom actually took Thea's hand, pulled her down the hall and through the door, and didn't let go until they reached the car. Thea noticed her hands were shaking as she unlocked the car. Mom giggled a little. "I guess I didn't really need to lock this thing, did I?"
"Mom, are you okay? What's up with that guy, anyway? 'Your path is secure?' Who does he think he is, professor Dumbledore?" More giggles. She started the car, and pulled out of the parking lot. Mom had never giggled in Thea's life. When she thought something was funny, the woman laughed. Loudly. She threw her head back and let it erupt from her soul. This weird, nervous titter was starting to grate on Thea's nerves. She was about to say so when she saw something out of the corner of her eye that looked like it was heading straight for the car.
"MOM, LOOK OUT!" Tires screeched, and a very surprised looking boy stopped right in front of the car. Mom wasn't able to stop the car in time, and the car bumped the boy in the legs hard enough to make him fall onto the hood of the car. Somehow, he held on and didn't go flying onto the road, but Thea heard the air whoosh out of him and felt like the air had been knocked out of her as well.
"Oh God, oh God oh God ohGod." Thea looked away from the boy on the hood to see her mother rocking back and forth, chanting "Oh Gods" and shaking her head. Thea was more freaked out by that than the boy on the hood. She didn't know what to do, so she slapped her mom on the side of the head.
"Mom, stop it!" Her mom stopped and looked at Thea as though she'd never seen her before. She seemed to remember then that she was the adult in the situation, and managed to open the car door on the first try. Thea got out as well and went around to the front of the car where the boy was leaning on the hood and rubbing his left knee.
"Are you okay?" The boy sucked air through his teeth and nodded once.
"I will be. I can't believe I didn't see you there. It was like one second the road was clear, and the next, you were there. Weird, huh?" Just then, the boy, who had been looking down at his injured knee, glanced up at Thea, and they both froze.
The boy was Thea's polar opposite in looks. He was rail thin and pale in a ratty old too-big Metallica t-shirt. Thea was slender but had a glow of health about her that the boy lacked. He had chocolate brown, wavy hair, and Thea's was long, straight, and honey colored.
But when they looked into each other's eyes, they each felt like they were looking into a mirror. Identical eyes, almost too big for their faces (definitely too big for the boy's face, Thea thought) they were clear blue, with green and gold flecks. Thea felt like she could have been looking at her twin.
Her parents had talked for years about where Thea had gotten her unique eyes. She certainly hadn't gotten them from her parents, because they both had brown eyes. They had decided it must be Great Auntie Ida, which was a joke, since neither one of them had ever had an Aunt Ida. They had told her that no one in the entire world had eyes like hers, and yet here she was, staring directly at her own eyes gaping out of some one else's face.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Scene 3 [or whatever I can get in an hour]
"Mom, were you crying before you came and got me?" Mom looked at Dad with widened eyes and started to turn to talk to Thea, when Dad took Mom's hand and she stopped.
"Well, hon, she was a little hurt you just left like that, and you were so businesslike in your letter telling us you weren't moving to Hopeton with us. We felt like you thought we were just trying to hurt you and the girls by moving. That hurt both of us."
"I guess I did feel that way. But why didn't you guys tell me the truth about Dad's job? I'm almost thirteen, for crying out loud. Did you think I couldn't handle it? And you should have known that I wasn't trying to hurt you, I just don't want to leave Angela. I'm her best friend, and I didn't want her to lose me too, you know?"
"I know, sweetheart. If we could do it any other way, we would. And you can still keep in touch with the girls, you know?" Thea looked doubtfully at her mother.
"How, by writing letters? Do they even have cell phone service down there? Or the internet?"
Mom and dad both laughed. It sounded a little forced to Thea's ears, who couldn't shake the feeling that there was a lot her parents weren't telling her.
"We're not moving to Egypt, kid! Of course they have the internet. You'll be able to talk to them almost as much as you do now. Trust me!" Thea let it go for the time being because they had arrived at the twins' house, and the girls were waiting outside on the front porch. Thea noticed that her stuff was piled up next to the porch swing, and that Angela was gone.
"Where's Angie?"
"She had to go home, Thea. She told us to tell you that she understands you can't stay here, but thanks for trying. She said she'd try to come see you off when you leave, but not to worry because she'll be fine. She will, you know?" Shelly and Kelly's mom was right, Angie would be fine. She still had friends to support her. But Thea wondered if she would still have these friends once she moved to Hopeton.
"Yeah, I guess so." Thea went to give the girls hugs. With tearful promises to write, e-mail, and call each other, they said goodbye. In only two days, she would leave this town, possibly forever. Tears streamed down her face as she turned and walked to the car without looking back.
***
The final two days in the city were a blur of packing and rushing of which Thea didn't remember much after the move. The morning of the big move, Thea's friends were all there to send her off. She had written Letters of Farewell, and gave them to each girl with a hug and admonition to write back soon. Tearful promises to write or call everyday followed, and then it was time to go.
Thea got into the car with her mom and turned to wave at her best friends. She waved until she couldn't see them anymore, then turned and dried her eyes.
It was a four hour drive from their city to Hopeton, and Thea dozed most of the way there. She'd been exhausted from the stress, and since there wasn't anything else to do except look at fields, she opted for sleep. They only stopped once, for a quick meal and bathroom break at a truck stop in the middle of no where. Once they were back on the road, Thea closed her eyes. She didn't want to have to think about what was happening to her, and the rock and sway of the car were soothing enough to lull her back to sleep.
[Possible dream here. Something ominous.]
"Honey, we're here. Thea, wake up." Thea awoke with a start, and looked around. She had been under the impression that they were moving to a town, but all she saw around the driveway they had pulled into were fields. The nearest neighbor looked to be a half-mile away, which, Thea supposed, wasn't necessarily a bad thing if she wanted to go get the mail in her bath robe, but this was nothing like she'd expected.
"Where is everything? I thought we were gonna live in town. What is this? A farm?"
"No. Uh, well, yeah I guess maybe it is a farm. Kinda. But we won't be farming it, we're only buying the house and a few acres around it. Just think of it as a really big yard," her dad said.
A big yard. Right. "Well, how far is it to town?"
"Um, about five miles that way. Oh come on, Thea, we'll need to go get supplies tomorrow, and then you'll get to see everything. Hopeton is only thirty minutes from several decent sized towns, two of which have hospitals, and one is a tourist town on the lake, so there will be lots of interesting things to keep you busy. School starts in a couple of weeks, and you'll have so much stuff going on there, you won't have time to miss the mall. Okay?" Thea's dad had put his arm around her and was steering her up the front stairs as he gave her his pep talk.
"You wanna pick out your room?" Mom asked.
"Really?" They nodded. "But what if I want the biggest room?" They shrugged.
"Well, hon, she was a little hurt you just left like that, and you were so businesslike in your letter telling us you weren't moving to Hopeton with us. We felt like you thought we were just trying to hurt you and the girls by moving. That hurt both of us."
"I guess I did feel that way. But why didn't you guys tell me the truth about Dad's job? I'm almost thirteen, for crying out loud. Did you think I couldn't handle it? And you should have known that I wasn't trying to hurt you, I just don't want to leave Angela. I'm her best friend, and I didn't want her to lose me too, you know?"
"I know, sweetheart. If we could do it any other way, we would. And you can still keep in touch with the girls, you know?" Thea looked doubtfully at her mother.
"How, by writing letters? Do they even have cell phone service down there? Or the internet?"
Mom and dad both laughed. It sounded a little forced to Thea's ears, who couldn't shake the feeling that there was a lot her parents weren't telling her.
"We're not moving to Egypt, kid! Of course they have the internet. You'll be able to talk to them almost as much as you do now. Trust me!" Thea let it go for the time being because they had arrived at the twins' house, and the girls were waiting outside on the front porch. Thea noticed that her stuff was piled up next to the porch swing, and that Angela was gone.
"Where's Angie?"
"She had to go home, Thea. She told us to tell you that she understands you can't stay here, but thanks for trying. She said she'd try to come see you off when you leave, but not to worry because she'll be fine. She will, you know?" Shelly and Kelly's mom was right, Angie would be fine. She still had friends to support her. But Thea wondered if she would still have these friends once she moved to Hopeton.
"Yeah, I guess so." Thea went to give the girls hugs. With tearful promises to write, e-mail, and call each other, they said goodbye. In only two days, she would leave this town, possibly forever. Tears streamed down her face as she turned and walked to the car without looking back.
***
The final two days in the city were a blur of packing and rushing of which Thea didn't remember much after the move. The morning of the big move, Thea's friends were all there to send her off. She had written Letters of Farewell, and gave them to each girl with a hug and admonition to write back soon. Tearful promises to write or call everyday followed, and then it was time to go.
Thea got into the car with her mom and turned to wave at her best friends. She waved until she couldn't see them anymore, then turned and dried her eyes.
It was a four hour drive from their city to Hopeton, and Thea dozed most of the way there. She'd been exhausted from the stress, and since there wasn't anything else to do except look at fields, she opted for sleep. They only stopped once, for a quick meal and bathroom break at a truck stop in the middle of no where. Once they were back on the road, Thea closed her eyes. She didn't want to have to think about what was happening to her, and the rock and sway of the car were soothing enough to lull her back to sleep.
[Possible dream here. Something ominous.]
"Honey, we're here. Thea, wake up." Thea awoke with a start, and looked around. She had been under the impression that they were moving to a town, but all she saw around the driveway they had pulled into were fields. The nearest neighbor looked to be a half-mile away, which, Thea supposed, wasn't necessarily a bad thing if she wanted to go get the mail in her bath robe, but this was nothing like she'd expected.
"Where is everything? I thought we were gonna live in town. What is this? A farm?"
"No. Uh, well, yeah I guess maybe it is a farm. Kinda. But we won't be farming it, we're only buying the house and a few acres around it. Just think of it as a really big yard," her dad said.
A big yard. Right. "Well, how far is it to town?"
"Um, about five miles that way. Oh come on, Thea, we'll need to go get supplies tomorrow, and then you'll get to see everything. Hopeton is only thirty minutes from several decent sized towns, two of which have hospitals, and one is a tourist town on the lake, so there will be lots of interesting things to keep you busy. School starts in a couple of weeks, and you'll have so much stuff going on there, you won't have time to miss the mall. Okay?" Thea's dad had put his arm around her and was steering her up the front stairs as he gave her his pep talk.
"You wanna pick out your room?" Mom asked.
"Really?" They nodded. "But what if I want the biggest room?" They shrugged.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Scene 2
Thea heard the doorbell ring and knew it was her parents. She was upstairs in Shelly's room with the twins and Angela. They wanted to go to the top of the stairs and eavesdrop, but decided they should just wait. After about thirty minutes, they changed their minds and went to open the door, but heard footsteps in the hall outside Shelly's room. There was a soft knock, and Kelly went to answer the door.
"Hey Kelly, is Thea here?"
"Yes, Mr. Watson." The girls looked at each other as Kelly opened the door. Thea's mom and dad were standing in the hallway and Thea could tell her mom had been crying.
"Thea, hon, we need to talk about this." Thea started to interrupt, but her dad raised his hand and she stopped.
"We'll give you a chance to talk, but we need to do this some where else. Why don't we go to Esbett's and get some dinner?" Thea knew she didn't really have a choice, so she gave the girls hugs and followed her parents down the stairs. On the way out the front door, Thea saw that her stuff had been taken out of Kelly's room and stacked up by the door, but her parents walked right by it. She decided that maybe there was still hope they'd go along with her plan.
When they got to the restaurant, Thea realized she wasn't really hungry. She ordered a cheeseburger anyway, and waited for her parents to start the conversation. She didn't have to wait long. As soon as the waiter brought their drinks, her mom started.
"We got your note." Long pause. Thea waited, and watched as her mom fidgeted for a couple of minutes. Her dad started to say something once, but Mom just touched his hand, and he stopped.
Mom cleared her throat and said, "Let me try this again. We understand how hard this is for you and the girls. It's been a horrible year for all of us, and, well, the truth is, we don't want to move either."
"Then why are we, Mom? What's really going on?"
Mom looked at Dad, who said, "You know how I've been having some trouble at work, right? Well, things came to a head a few weeks ago, and my supervisor threatened to have me fired if I didn't follow orders. I went over his head, and things got weird, and I ended up getting reassigned to Hopeton. It's a promotion that's really a demotion, and it's the only way I could keep working for the Company."
"Why don't you just quit? You could work for Angela's dad or something."
"Not that simple, sweetheart. We have a lot tied up in the company, and we really can't just up and leave."
"Dad, it's an engineering company, not The Firm." Her dad laughed and cleared his throat. Thea had a feeling they weren't telling her everything, and said as much. Her parents each reached across the table and took one of her hands.
"Honey, listen to me. There are some things we can't go into right now, but you don't need to worry about it. It's some legal stuff that I can't talk about to anybody, but we'll be fine. You're just going to have to trust me on this, okay?"
"Thea, your dad and I love you very much, you know that, right?" Thea nodded. "And you know we would never do anything to hurt you on purpose. I know this hurts you, and if there was any other way to take care of this, we would. But we don't have any choice. And we can't leave you behind. Please, trust us when we say that we can't let you stay here, even if we wanted to."
Thea saw something in her parents' eyes she'd only seen once before. It had been during a storm that had spawned a tornado which had touched down in the empty lot right across the street from their house. They had been terrified, and the look was unforgettable. Thea knew something was horribly wrong, and that she was powerless to do anything about it.
"Okay, Mom, I'll go."
"Hey Kelly, is Thea here?"
"Yes, Mr. Watson." The girls looked at each other as Kelly opened the door. Thea's mom and dad were standing in the hallway and Thea could tell her mom had been crying.
"Thea, hon, we need to talk about this." Thea started to interrupt, but her dad raised his hand and she stopped.
"We'll give you a chance to talk, but we need to do this some where else. Why don't we go to Esbett's and get some dinner?" Thea knew she didn't really have a choice, so she gave the girls hugs and followed her parents down the stairs. On the way out the front door, Thea saw that her stuff had been taken out of Kelly's room and stacked up by the door, but her parents walked right by it. She decided that maybe there was still hope they'd go along with her plan.
When they got to the restaurant, Thea realized she wasn't really hungry. She ordered a cheeseburger anyway, and waited for her parents to start the conversation. She didn't have to wait long. As soon as the waiter brought their drinks, her mom started.
"We got your note." Long pause. Thea waited, and watched as her mom fidgeted for a couple of minutes. Her dad started to say something once, but Mom just touched his hand, and he stopped.
Mom cleared her throat and said, "Let me try this again. We understand how hard this is for you and the girls. It's been a horrible year for all of us, and, well, the truth is, we don't want to move either."
"Then why are we, Mom? What's really going on?"
Mom looked at Dad, who said, "You know how I've been having some trouble at work, right? Well, things came to a head a few weeks ago, and my supervisor threatened to have me fired if I didn't follow orders. I went over his head, and things got weird, and I ended up getting reassigned to Hopeton. It's a promotion that's really a demotion, and it's the only way I could keep working for the Company."
"Why don't you just quit? You could work for Angela's dad or something."
"Not that simple, sweetheart. We have a lot tied up in the company, and we really can't just up and leave."
"Dad, it's an engineering company, not The Firm." Her dad laughed and cleared his throat. Thea had a feeling they weren't telling her everything, and said as much. Her parents each reached across the table and took one of her hands.
"Honey, listen to me. There are some things we can't go into right now, but you don't need to worry about it. It's some legal stuff that I can't talk about to anybody, but we'll be fine. You're just going to have to trust me on this, okay?"
"Thea, your dad and I love you very much, you know that, right?" Thea nodded. "And you know we would never do anything to hurt you on purpose. I know this hurts you, and if there was any other way to take care of this, we would. But we don't have any choice. And we can't leave you behind. Please, trust us when we say that we can't let you stay here, even if we wanted to."
Thea saw something in her parents' eyes she'd only seen once before. It had been during a storm that had spawned a tornado which had touched down in the empty lot right across the street from their house. They had been terrified, and the look was unforgettable. Thea knew something was horribly wrong, and that she was powerless to do anything about it.
"Okay, Mom, I'll go."
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Scene 1
Dorothea Watson didn't care what her parents said, she wasn't moving to Hopeton.
She'd made up her mind. She was going to move in with two of her friends, twin sisters Shelly and Kelly. Her best friend Angela's parents were getting a divorce, and Thea didn't think Angela's mom would let her stay with them. There wasn't really room anyway in their tiny one bedroom apartment.
The divorce had been hard for all four girls. They had all been friends since Kindergarten, and used to pretend they were all sisters. When one had troubles, they all did. The twins and Thea had rallied around their hurting friend, and had done their best to comfort her, and themselves.
Thea couldn't believe her own parents were doing this to her.
It was unbelievable; when she'd gone to camp, everything had been normal, and when she came home, their stuff was already half packed and they were moving to some town in Po-dunk, Missouri she'd never even heard of. The town didn't even have a website. When she looked it up on the internet, all she could find out was that the population was barely over one thousand. For the whole town. The entire school, K through twelve, had 600 kids. Her middle school had that many people with just three grades.
She had survived the sixth grade and being one of the youngest in the school, only to be moved to a school where seventh grade was part of the high school, and she'd be one of the youngest again.
Alone this time.
That was what scared her the most. She had never been anywhere without at least one of her friends. They did everything together, always had. Now things were changing so fast, Thea felt like she couldn't breathe. She couldn't do it. Wouldn't. Mom and Dad were just going to have to let her stay. Maybe she could visit on holidays and every other weekend like Angela visited her dad.
Thea flung her sleeping bag over her shoulder, grabbed Ellie and her suitcase, and headed for the door. She'd left a six page letter on the kitchen table explaining her decision, and had decided maybe it would be best to be gone when her parents got home. They'd gone to sign the papers that sold their house to some couple with an eight year old boy who had shot holes in the walls with his BB gun the day they had come to look at the house. Thea hated that kid. She shuddered to think what he'd do to her room once it was his.
Better not to think about it. It was time to move on.
She'd made up her mind. She was going to move in with two of her friends, twin sisters Shelly and Kelly. Her best friend Angela's parents were getting a divorce, and Thea didn't think Angela's mom would let her stay with them. There wasn't really room anyway in their tiny one bedroom apartment.
The divorce had been hard for all four girls. They had all been friends since Kindergarten, and used to pretend they were all sisters. When one had troubles, they all did. The twins and Thea had rallied around their hurting friend, and had done their best to comfort her, and themselves.
Thea couldn't believe her own parents were doing this to her.
It was unbelievable; when she'd gone to camp, everything had been normal, and when she came home, their stuff was already half packed and they were moving to some town in Po-dunk, Missouri she'd never even heard of. The town didn't even have a website. When she looked it up on the internet, all she could find out was that the population was barely over one thousand. For the whole town. The entire school, K through twelve, had 600 kids. Her middle school had that many people with just three grades.
She had survived the sixth grade and being one of the youngest in the school, only to be moved to a school where seventh grade was part of the high school, and she'd be one of the youngest again.
Alone this time.
That was what scared her the most. She had never been anywhere without at least one of her friends. They did everything together, always had. Now things were changing so fast, Thea felt like she couldn't breathe. She couldn't do it. Wouldn't. Mom and Dad were just going to have to let her stay. Maybe she could visit on holidays and every other weekend like Angela visited her dad.
Thea flung her sleeping bag over her shoulder, grabbed Ellie and her suitcase, and headed for the door. She'd left a six page letter on the kitchen table explaining her decision, and had decided maybe it would be best to be gone when her parents got home. They'd gone to sign the papers that sold their house to some couple with an eight year old boy who had shot holes in the walls with his BB gun the day they had come to look at the house. Thea hated that kid. She shuddered to think what he'd do to her room once it was his.
Better not to think about it. It was time to move on.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Just An Experiment
I'm not sure if I'm going to use this or not. I'll leave it here for a bit, just in case, though.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)